Monday, August 11, 2014

જેના મિત્રો સરસ, એની જીન્દગી સફળ!

The one who has the company of True Friends, lives a truly successful life.

Friendship is the most important and influential factor of our lives. Friends provide the stimulus to the way we think, speak, act, talk, behave, etc. They delineate our character and mould our success stories. Shivam House was very much privileged to celebrate the value of “Friends” as part of weekly assemblies.
So, how do we make friends? What kind of success can a friend help us achieve? Generally, we make friends based on the following:

1. Usefulness: How useful can one be to you? Will he lend me his perfume? Will he share his chocolates with me? Will he help me to complete my homework? Will he support me in case an adverse situation arises? These are some of the questions we ask ourselves and confirm, before making friends.

2. Pleasure: Some people are fun loving and their presence drives all your worries away. They always have some funny things to share that make you roar with laughter. Some others may accompany you in shopping and watching a movie. You may share the same interests in academics sports and technologies, for example:
  • I like watching and discussing about American Football and Raj also likes it, so he is my best friend.
  • I like gadgets and latest technology like an Apple iPhone and Ani shares with me the latest apps and games of iPhone, so he is my best friend.
  • I enjoy making working models and Jeet is also interested in making scientific models, so he is my best friend.
3. Virtue: When someone has creditable personality traits or values in him, we are naturally attracted to that individual and want to make him our friend. Some of these virtues include being respectful, faithful, effective communication, proactive, supportive nature, understanding nature, etc. The fact that he is your friend makes you feel proud. You will be ready to do whatever such a person tells you to do.

So now there is another very important question as to which of the above mentioned friends are good friends? And yes, there is still the question of definition of success.

Thinking carefully, the type 3 ‘Virtuous Friends’ are the ideal friends. But it is also true that one who is virtuous may not be as helpful and joyful. So then, type 1 ‘Useful Friends’ may be a good option. But there may or may not be situations in life where you may need help from people and hence, such friendship lacks quality and constant contact. Now the only option that remains is type 2 ‘Pleasure loving Friends’. But how long can one keep on laughing at jokes and foolishness of some other people. Moreover how long will you share things of interest? There will be a point of saturation reached, someday.

In a way, all of the above discussed friends are good friends. We need friends with virtues so that we can become virtuous, we need friends who are useful as they will be ready to share things with us, and we definitely need friends who bring joy and pleasure to our life and who share the same interest as ours. As Param Pujya Swamiji has regularly emphasised that whatever good we find in others we should observe, meditate and imbibe. Moreover, when we get to learn something good from someone he is our good friend.

Furthermore, Swamiji has also explained through His discourses that a true friend is the one who…

  1. Will help you to achieve academic success and will help you to make your senses positive.
    One may claim that he has friend(s) who helps him academically and they both are academically successful. But the real question to ask is:
    Are they helping each other to see positively? Are they helping each other to talk positive about others? Are they helping each other to listen positive about others? Are they selflessly helping others by sharing knowledge?
    Thus, a true friend will help you make your senses positive, develop the focus and hence become academically strong.
  2. Will help you to settle down in life, live a morally and culturally sound life, maintain positivity and live happily.
    One may say that he has earned a lot of money in life and he is successful. He may also claim that he has lots of friends who are extremely rich. But the question arises, is earning money the true success of life? Money will get you all the necessary materialistic comforts, however it will not be able to buy respect and humility; it will not fetch you a tension free live and it will not fetch you good and positive thoughts. Only a true friend will teach one to live a morally and culturally sound life and that will help one to develop humility and gain respect.
    A true friend will help you to stick to positive thoughts and hence, will be loyal and committed at all times.
  3. Will teach you to grow spiritually i.e. to live with ‘Atmiyata’ and ‘Suhradbhav’. He will support you in following the commands of Guru and will teach you to offer service with devotion. He will teach you to celebrate the diversity and adversity of life. He will teach you how to attain the true bliss of God.
Under the guidance of teachers, the Shivam House team made a humble effort to put forth the above discussion in the daily assemblies through videos, presentations and speeches.

The week concluded on 9th August with a heart touching drama depicting the importance of true friends. In the drama, it was portrayed that true friendship is brimming with faith, acceptance and selfless sacrifice. It not only benefits the friends but influences the people around in a positive manner.
Written by: Prabhudarshan Sir

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